Knight Kisses
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‘Hello,’ Gabrielle called, as she entered the house and dropped her bag and car keys on the hall table. Classes had been a mad rush today and she was truly bushed, but now, she had to go sit with Charles Dickens, and write a paper on why his novels still influenced modern day society.
‘Hi honey,' Eleanor said from the study. ‘Please come see me after lunch.’ Gabrielle knew days like this; in fact, they were becoming quite common. After making lunch, Eleanor would go lie on the sofa in the study, exhausted for the rest of the day. Gabrielle worried a great deal, but the more she tried to probe and query, the more Eleanor clammed up. ‘I had a sandwich earlier,’ Gabrielle said from the doorway, then walked in, leaned over, and kissed her mother’s brow. ‘Mom, you look so pale, you have to go see a doctor.’ Eleanor dropped her gaze, as if caught in an indiscretion. ‘I have already been to see a few.’ ‘What? Then— what did they say?’ Gabrielle sat in the armchair closest to the sofa. ‘I’m very sick.’ Eleanor took a laborious breath. In contrast, Gabrielle’s suspended for a second. ‘What’s wrong? What do you need, what can I do?’ ‘I have cancer.’ Fear sprung forth like a hidden monster, making Gabrielle feel weak and numb. She grabbed the chair’s armrests, digging her fingers in. ‘It’s treatable, right? Do you need surgery, chemo, radiation...?’ Eleanor shook her head. ‘I’m beyond that. It’s just too late— I’m dying.’ A world-crushing hand grabbed her heart, flipped her over, and made her feel as if she were dying herself. Tears filled her eyes as she fell on her knees before her mother, dropping her head into her lap. ‘No mommy, you can’t.’ ‘I’m sorry baby, but there is nothing more to do. And you know it too.’ Eleanor caressed her child’s hair. ‘But you will always have the happy times, the joy and laughter we brought each other. I’ve put everything is in order, and Charles is aware of it, so when—’ |
They did not have many friends in Switzerland, but there was one constant visitor, when he was in the country. Charles Knight was somehow related to Eleanor by a flimsy in-law thread, but he had taken it as his duty to see to their comfort and safety. Gabrielle liked him very much and she figured that he must like her too because he always brought her gifts, treated her like a daughter, and never told her to stop calling him daddy, which she had started doing when she was ten. Consequently, Eleanor often turned to him for advice.
She hated being scared, but right now, she was petrified. ‘Stop talking like this, you are not going to die.’ Tears flowed freely.
‘Listen to me.’ Eleanor said softly. ‘It is going to happen, so you have to accept it and prepare for when it does.’
‘I don’t want to, I need you.’ Gabrielle hiccupped, feeling so much like a little girl that she wanted to curl up into her mother’s lap.
‘Charles and I have already discussed everything.’ Eleanor paused. ‘We have decided that the best course of action is for you to go to South Africa.’
‘What?’ Gabrielle exclaimed. Not only was her mother dying, but she was going to be uprooted as well.
‘You can’t stay here alone.’
‘But... Anna and Luc are here.’ Anna was the cleaning, nanny, and everything else lady, and Luc, her seventeen-year-old son. Gabrielle and Luc had always been close; she had kept an eye on him throughout school, made sure he did not mix with the wrong crowd, and been his emotional support when he lost his father.
Eleanor took her daughter’s chin, looking into the beautiful hazel eyes. ‘You need to live, not be concerned and afraid, or alone.’
‘I dreamt of going to Africa, where I should have been born, but not like this, and... What about my studies?’
‘You know those can be continued and completed anywhere. Charles loves you just as if you were his child, so he will keep you safe. But if you don’t want him to...’ Eleanor stopped.
Even through the tears, the bad news, and the utterly helplessness she felt, she knew something much worse was about to happen. ‘Mommy,’ she could barely say the words. ‘Please tell me you are not dying today.’
Eleanor attempted a smile and failed. ‘Not so soon, but I do have to unburden my heart. Naturally, Charles is completely against it.’ She moved on the sofa with some difficulty.
Gabrielle sobbed. ‘Please, mommy, please don’t talk like this.’
‘I am sorry I lied but I wanted to protect you.’ Eleanor took a deep breath. ‘If you had known, if he knew— well, I don’t know.’
Gabrielle looked up. ‘What are you talking about, mommy? Please don’t tell me daddy— Uncle Charles.’ She corrected herself. ‘Is my real father.’
‘You should be so lucky my darling, but no, Charles is not your father. And as much as it pains me, I have to finally make a confession.’
‘Yes, that you told me a terrible joke and that you are not dying.’ Gabrielle wiped her face furiously.
‘Gaby,’ Eleanor said gently. ‘I have kept something from you, something I wished you would never hear, never see, never experience, but now... I hate the way I feel because I believe the earth will refuse to eat my bones if I don’t tell you.’ She paused to catch her breath and find new words. ‘Your father is not dead. I told you he was so you would never try to see him. And he doesn’t know that you exist either because I left before you were born.’
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She hated being scared, but right now, she was petrified. ‘Stop talking like this, you are not going to die.’ Tears flowed freely.
‘Listen to me.’ Eleanor said softly. ‘It is going to happen, so you have to accept it and prepare for when it does.’
‘I don’t want to, I need you.’ Gabrielle hiccupped, feeling so much like a little girl that she wanted to curl up into her mother’s lap.
‘Charles and I have already discussed everything.’ Eleanor paused. ‘We have decided that the best course of action is for you to go to South Africa.’
‘What?’ Gabrielle exclaimed. Not only was her mother dying, but she was going to be uprooted as well.
‘You can’t stay here alone.’
‘But... Anna and Luc are here.’ Anna was the cleaning, nanny, and everything else lady, and Luc, her seventeen-year-old son. Gabrielle and Luc had always been close; she had kept an eye on him throughout school, made sure he did not mix with the wrong crowd, and been his emotional support when he lost his father.
Eleanor took her daughter’s chin, looking into the beautiful hazel eyes. ‘You need to live, not be concerned and afraid, or alone.’
‘I dreamt of going to Africa, where I should have been born, but not like this, and... What about my studies?’
‘You know those can be continued and completed anywhere. Charles loves you just as if you were his child, so he will keep you safe. But if you don’t want him to...’ Eleanor stopped.
Even through the tears, the bad news, and the utterly helplessness she felt, she knew something much worse was about to happen. ‘Mommy,’ she could barely say the words. ‘Please tell me you are not dying today.’
Eleanor attempted a smile and failed. ‘Not so soon, but I do have to unburden my heart. Naturally, Charles is completely against it.’ She moved on the sofa with some difficulty.
Gabrielle sobbed. ‘Please, mommy, please don’t talk like this.’
‘I am sorry I lied but I wanted to protect you.’ Eleanor took a deep breath. ‘If you had known, if he knew— well, I don’t know.’
Gabrielle looked up. ‘What are you talking about, mommy? Please don’t tell me daddy— Uncle Charles.’ She corrected herself. ‘Is my real father.’
‘You should be so lucky my darling, but no, Charles is not your father. And as much as it pains me, I have to finally make a confession.’
‘Yes, that you told me a terrible joke and that you are not dying.’ Gabrielle wiped her face furiously.
‘Gaby,’ Eleanor said gently. ‘I have kept something from you, something I wished you would never hear, never see, never experience, but now... I hate the way I feel because I believe the earth will refuse to eat my bones if I don’t tell you.’ She paused to catch her breath and find new words. ‘Your father is not dead. I told you he was so you would never try to see him. And he doesn’t know that you exist either because I left before you were born.’
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