By James L Hill (aka J L Hill)
The advice I hear most often giving to writers is you need to have thick skin, meaning prepare yourself for a life of being misunderstood, despair, and rejection. And although this is definitely the life of any writer, no matter how successful, it is not the best advice one could get. When asked about being a writer what one should do, I say, “Allow yourself greatness. And keep writing.”
This is a philosophy I developed a while ago while coaching kids in basketball and football. All of us have a fear of failure; it is powerful and can stop the strongest in their tracks. I was told kids succeed because they do not have this fear. They learn it from us adults telling them how things will not work out for them. We plant the seeds of self-doubt and nourish it with “I told you so’s”. This is not entirely true, they do fear failure, it just not that crippling until we reinforce failure with ridicule.
However there is a greater fear that affects both children and adults alike. It is more powerful than the fear of failure, it can stop us from even getting started, and it is the fear of success. We will sabotage our own efforts because we don’t know what we will do if our plans actually work out. It is not learned, it is primal, and I learned this coaching a boy to be the quarterback of my six to eight-year-old football team. He had a natural throwing motion that made it easy for him to throw good passes. But instead of throwing the ball on pass plays he pulls it down and runs. I asked him why he didn’t throw the pass to the wide open receiver his first response was, “what if I throw an interception.” After I convinced him there was no way the defense could have picked off the ball he said, “what if I threw it and we scored a touchdown.”
I realized that we may all want success, but there is that part of us that feels we are not deserving of it. Call it piety, humility, whatever, we feel success is good luck and not a product of hard work and perseverance. We can deal with rejection and disappoint, but a little well-earned accolades is overwhelming. I’m telling you to learn to accept that you are great at what you do. If you are steadily practicing, improving, and bettering yourself than no matter what the critics may say You Are Great.
One of my heroes is Mohammed Ali (Cassius Clay, the boxer for those who may not know) because he was not only a great fighter but a better self-promoter. He could out box a lot of opponents and outsmart the rest. And he wasn’t afraid to say so. He fought his way to the top multiple times both in the ring and out. It is no wonder he took on the title The Greatest.
Dream big, work hard, and allow yourself greatness and it will come to fruition. And as I told my eight year old quarterback, “If you don’t throw the ball, it won’t get intercepted, it won’t go for a touchdown, nothing will happen. And nothing is the worst thing that can happen.”
The advice I hear most often giving to writers is you need to have thick skin, meaning prepare yourself for a life of being misunderstood, despair, and rejection. And although this is definitely the life of any writer, no matter how successful, it is not the best advice one could get. When asked about being a writer what one should do, I say, “Allow yourself greatness. And keep writing.”
This is a philosophy I developed a while ago while coaching kids in basketball and football. All of us have a fear of failure; it is powerful and can stop the strongest in their tracks. I was told kids succeed because they do not have this fear. They learn it from us adults telling them how things will not work out for them. We plant the seeds of self-doubt and nourish it with “I told you so’s”. This is not entirely true, they do fear failure, it just not that crippling until we reinforce failure with ridicule.
However there is a greater fear that affects both children and adults alike. It is more powerful than the fear of failure, it can stop us from even getting started, and it is the fear of success. We will sabotage our own efforts because we don’t know what we will do if our plans actually work out. It is not learned, it is primal, and I learned this coaching a boy to be the quarterback of my six to eight-year-old football team. He had a natural throwing motion that made it easy for him to throw good passes. But instead of throwing the ball on pass plays he pulls it down and runs. I asked him why he didn’t throw the pass to the wide open receiver his first response was, “what if I throw an interception.” After I convinced him there was no way the defense could have picked off the ball he said, “what if I threw it and we scored a touchdown.”
I realized that we may all want success, but there is that part of us that feels we are not deserving of it. Call it piety, humility, whatever, we feel success is good luck and not a product of hard work and perseverance. We can deal with rejection and disappoint, but a little well-earned accolades is overwhelming. I’m telling you to learn to accept that you are great at what you do. If you are steadily practicing, improving, and bettering yourself than no matter what the critics may say You Are Great.
One of my heroes is Mohammed Ali (Cassius Clay, the boxer for those who may not know) because he was not only a great fighter but a better self-promoter. He could out box a lot of opponents and outsmart the rest. And he wasn’t afraid to say so. He fought his way to the top multiple times both in the ring and out. It is no wonder he took on the title The Greatest.
Dream big, work hard, and allow yourself greatness and it will come to fruition. And as I told my eight year old quarterback, “If you don’t throw the ball, it won’t get intercepted, it won’t go for a touchdown, nothing will happen. And nothing is the worst thing that can happen.”
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